Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
