THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
