I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
