The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
