wat bout pragnant strippers??
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
