my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
