is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
