I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
All the doctor said was why
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
