i would punch a child for taco bell
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
If you need anything just hit me up
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."