Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!