dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win