she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
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