1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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