I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Randomize
