Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
and she was petting her beer can
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
