My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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