So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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