She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Randomize
