when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
