I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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