At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.