just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon