But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
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My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
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The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.