this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic