I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
