I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
