two words: eviction party
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
