i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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