Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Randomize
