So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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