I wish my penis had an off switch
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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