Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
