I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
