OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
