I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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