im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
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Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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