Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Randomize
