he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Randomize
