So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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