Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
