I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
