Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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