so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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