hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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