The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I need a beard to bite.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
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