me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
