I wanna passion pit in your ass
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
