Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I need water and some morals
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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