Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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