Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
