I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
