Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
What drink are we having for lunch?
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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