knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
