From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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