Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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