Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
