Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Randomize
