You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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