My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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