i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I want her autograph on my taint
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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