Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
