Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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