omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
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