dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
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