just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler