I like my sex mixed with concussions.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
