And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize
